Are you there God it’s me…hang on a minute, who am I again?

My identity has shifted/paused. Who the hell am I? I don’t have a fringe, I’m wearing skimpy summer clothes, I’m tailoring my (dulcetĀ scouse tones) accent to suit my new environment. I’m unemployed, though I’m raising our kids, I’m buying materialistic shit like iPads, stuff I’ve never been arsed about, I’m having regular beauty treatments – did I mention my hair looks ridiculous and I usually use my follicles as a means of identification (it’s important, you wear your hair everyday!)

One minute I’m in Levenshulme, Manchester, protesting about the closure of the local swimming baths and slagging off the council cuts, en masse, and the next minute I’m preparing to interview a Burmese woman who will clean my knickers and feed my kids. I’m in conflict politically speaking. At home (what was home) I see mates everyday, here I have but one friend, who’s worth her weight in (the finest Buddhist) gold.

I’m sweating like a pig one minute and freezing to air-conditioned death the next. I’m unfamiliar with everything, I hate Skype, the kids are out of their routine and behaving like Marmalade Atkins and Dennis the Menace. It’s like being on maternity leave all over again, which wasn’t the happiest of times cos its sodding hard work, and looking after 40 homeless families in deepest, darkest Brinnington, Stockport, was a light relief.

You may think I’m an ungrateful, spoilt bitch, you are welcome to your opinion.

This is my blog.

* I relocated to Bangkok, Thailand on 21st March 2013 with my partner in crime, our 3 yr old boy and our 1 yr old girl.